You feel like something's off? The vibes in the girls group chat are tense?
Or someone hurt you and you don’t know if you should bring it up?Is it even worth confronting them?
Let’s break it down.
How do you do conflict?
I'm a...
Shark 🦈
Turtle 🐢
Teddy Bear 🧸
Boiling Pot ♨️
Bridge 🌉
Awesome, let's run through some ~scenarios~
Each one will get a little spicier as we go. Remember that the goal of this exercise is that whatever the misunderstanding is, you find a good way to communicate your feelings.
Mild 🔥
The tea 🍵
You have a close friend but she's starting to hang out more and more with another girl. You notice they are bonding a lot and start feeling jealous.
The tea 🍵
You're stuck watching your two close friends drift apart: one is jealous that the other isn't spending as much time with her.
🦈 Goal
How can you be direct while still communicating that you care?
This does not need to be a conflict! Don’t make it one! This isn’t beef, it's dino chicken nuggets! 🦕🍗
🐢 Goal
Your feelings deserve to be heard :) share that you are uncomfortable and hurt.
🧸 Goal
You can handle this convo :) don't laugh it off and pretend everything is totally fine!
♨️ Goal
Face the conversation! DON’T let this pile on or ignore the pain of a friend growing distant.
🌉 Goal
Be honest with how their drifting apart is making YOU feel without starting drama!
are you free to hang out saturday? i'm making cookies!
maybe
might be busy
okie maybe tuesday we can do hw together then
yeah hmmm I'll lyk
Respond here...
friendships come and go, but don't lose a good one over what could just be a miscommunication!
Conflict is a part of all relationships, even the healthy ones. It's an opportunity to improve vibes!
Medium 🔥🔥
The tea 🍵
You and a friend take cute pics after school. She wants to post this one photo of the two of you but you tell her that you do not like the way you look in that photo.
A few hours later, she posts it anyway.
The tea 🍵 Your two friends are in a fight over the photos that they posted and you are watching it all go down. Your friend is hurting.
🦈 Goal
Call her out without criticizing her character.
If you're thinking, "ugh you always post pics where only you look good because all you care about is yourself," try the oreo sandwich strategy 🍞🍦🍞
nice, challenge, nice.
🐢 Goal
DO address how you are feeling because you are uncomfortable and hurt. Your feelings deserve to be heard.
🧸 Goal
You spam her post with funny comments. You laugh it off. Make your feelings heard, bestie!
♨️ Goal
DON’T just hold it in. Admit to yourself that she hurt ya (unintentionally!) and find a way to admit it to her, too.
🌉 Goal
Encourage the hurt friend to text or talk to the post-er.
If they are uncomfortable with confrontation, text the post-er!
posted!
spent so long on the caption haha
Respond here...
Always acknowledge how you ~~feel~~
Spicyyy 🔥🔥🔥
The tea 🍵
You hung out with the guy you like from chemistry class 🧪🧑🔬 this past Saturday. But 🧪🧑🔬and Gretchen were a thing a few weeks ago. On Sunday Gretchen angrily texted you because how could you hang out with 🧪🧑🔬 - it breaks girl code!!
You *don't* think you waaaaaaay broke girl code, you were gonna ask her for permission and just... didn't bring it up to her before the first hang out. You didn't even kiss!
The tea 🍵 One of your friends is flirting with your other friend’s ex. This other friend got super mad and now things are really tense.
🦈 Goal
Don't bite! What's gonna change her mind: yelling at her or listening to her side of the story and finding common ground?
🐢 Goal
This feels like a minefield. Maybe it feels like everything you say will be misinterpreted or turned against you. Diffuse the mines by:
Acknowledging how hard this is ("I'm anxious about how you'll read this")
Speaking slow ("From my perspective, it looks like...")
Asking questions (listening beats fighting!)
🧸 Goal
DONT try to patch things over at the expense of your own feelings. Honestly communicate how you feel!
♨️ Goal
Clearing the air from all that steam ya got boiling! If you're worried whatcha say'll be misinterpreted, try:
Acknowledging how hard this is ("I'm anxious about how you'll read this")
Speaking slow ("From my perspective, it looks like...")
Asking questions (listening beats fighting!)
🌉 Goal
Be honest with how their drifting apart is making YOU feel without starting drama!
you hung out with 🧪🧑🔬 on saturday - what’s up with you?? what were you thinking?!? yk that breaks girl code
Respond here...
You made it 🎉🎊 whatcha gonna do next time there's beef?
Face conflict in the face. Don't pretend it doesn't exist 🧸❤️.
We talk about people behind their backs to vent. Keeping everyone involved is harder, but more ~healing~ long term🩹🩹
Sometimes you gotta take a lil blame for conflict 🙄🙄
Don't 😤👊 attack the other peoples' character in anger
💖Share💖Feelings💖 even if they're about how anxious you are to have *this* convo! It makes your 💅💅 positive intentions clear.